Civil Unions and Powers of Attorney

{mosimage}Scenario 1:  Last week I met with a financial planner to talk about consolidating retirement accounts from previous employers.  During our routine interview, he asked me if Brian and I had a will, powers of attorney, health care powers of attorney and living wills.   I said to him that we did but I believed most of these documents were unnecessary for us as a gay couple because we were civil unioned in 2000.  His response was that he wasn’t sure and we should really talk to an attorney and he referred me to one that specializes in legal issues for gay couples.  Now the financial planner I spoke with was in New Hampshire (where Civil Unions for gay couple just started on January 1, 2008) so he may not be familiar with the specific protections afforded to gay couples via civil unions (which I though were separate but equal).

Scenario 2:  I called the companies that manage my retirement funds to get documents to request a roll over of monies.  As they were asking me about the forms, they said that if I was married I needed to have my wife complete a document stating she was waiving her right to 50% of my finds if I rolled them over to another company’s retirement fund.  I said, “I’m civil unioned, do I need to do that?”  The advisor’s response, “I don’t know, you should talk to an attorney.”

Does it seem like no one knows what is going on here?

I, of course, talked to Brian about the issue and I even Googled “Do civil union gay couples need powers of attorney?”

Here is what I discovered from Lambda Legal about New Jersey Civil Unions¹:

Q: Even if my partner and I enter into a New Jersey civil union, are there other precautions we should take?

A: Yes. A civil union is new in New Jersey, and legal statuses for same-sex couples are just beginning to be established in various forms elsewhere in the country. This is a rapidly evolving legal area with much uncertainty. Our experience with New Jersey's domestic partnerships shows us that a status other than marriage is confusing to some people, and invites all people to be discriminatory — despite what the law requires — because a separate status signals unworthiness. Further, the federal government and many other states may not respect your New Jersey civil union, so it is especially important to consider whether you have adequate protections if you are traveling outside of the state. You should consult with an attorney if possible about steps you should take apart from your civil union to provide more security to one another and to your family. For example, you can better protect each other through legal documents like wills, health care proxies, advance directives, cohabitation agreements and powers of attorney. Many of these legal protections are routinely obtained by married couples as well to afford greater security for their family; they can be that much more important for same-sex couples whose New Jersey civil unions may not be respected outside of the state.

:  http://www.lambdalegal.org/our-work/publications/facts-backgrounds/nj-civil-unions-faq.html

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It's 2008. What are the goals for your relationship?

During the first few days of each new year Brian and I sit down and take a look at our individual goals as well as goals for our relationship. These past few years I have also revised my business plan for True Azimuth and presented it to him for input and approval.

"Approval?" you ask.  "What ever would you need that for?"

We are a partnership -- in more ways than one.  Starting a new business requires start up capital as well as other lifestyle financial choices.  So it is important that he share my vision. 

Its really our vision.  Our future.

And we have faith and trust in each other -- grounded in our commitment to be together "until death do us part" -- as hokey as some people may believe that to be -- we really mean it.

Every business coach / personal coach stresses the importance of clearly defined goals. You need clearly defined goals in order to achieve success.  However, clearly defined goals are not enough. Goals need objectives and action steps (tasks).  Like the needle on a compass, they point in the direction  you want to go, allowing you to maintain your focus in the present while not losing your way.

Goals also need to be reviewed regularly.

A few years ago, I stopped writing goals down.  Not because it's a waste of paper -- but I because I found a better way.  Using a software-based system called GoalPro because it had the tools to define, maintain, track, and achieve my goals.  Its awesome.  But don't take my word for it.  Download a free trial version and try it out for yourself.

Are you still setting your goals on paper??