Watch this video completely before you read the rest of this gay couples blog post.
What did you think of the video? How did you react to it? More importantly, why did you react to it the way you did?
Most likely you reacted because of an assumption: you either ASSUMED the video was about something or you ASSUMED the video appeared to be about something that it wasn't. You waited for the "punch" line.
Assumptions are the JOY of our existence. Assumptions add spice to life. A joke would not be a joke if it were not for assumptions. The jolts we get from the "punch" line happens because we assume one thing and wham! We get another. Cliff-hangers in movies are built on assumptions. We are able to drive down the road in complete confidence because we can assume with 100% faith that every other driver will obey the rules around the yellow lines in the middle of the road. When they don't, what happens? You got it, an "accident." We never get in an "in-purpose" car wreck.
Assumptions are also the BANE of our existence. We assume our boyfriend will value the same thing we do. Why is it that gay men are so blatant about their sexual tastes (tops, bottoms, latex, leather -- it is quite a long and specific list isn't it?) but are so closed about their values? I bet you can tell me what get's your guy off in bed to precise detail and what turns him off. But can you tell me what his top 5 values (in priority order) are? I bet you can't. Assumptions is where gay couples get into trouble. And I am not talking about the begging stages of a relationship.
The struggle that erupts after 15 or 20 years together happens most often because one guy in the relationship assumes that the other guy in the relationship still holds the same values that he did when they were first together! People change.
Do you value the same music you listened to in high school? If you are like me (any most others) your answer is probably "No." I loved Pink Floyd when I was in my senior year in high school, freshman and sophomore year in college. I was not just a fan - I was a fanatic. Opera was horrid. A month ago I went to the second of Wagner's ring series. I haven't listened to Floyd in over a year.
Are you holding onto the same values in your relationship? How is it hurting you?
