Monday, July 14, 2008

Vipassana

I recently completed a Vipassana meditation course. Ten solid days of practice. Solid because when day one starts at 4:30am, you are in the meditation hall practicing. Solid because when day ten ends at 9:00pm, you are in the meditation hall practicing. Truth be told its really twelve days. You arrive at 4:00pm on day zero for room assignment, unpacking and orientation -- formally starting at 8:00pm. You leave on day eleven after morning practice and closing dhamma talk. 

Its hard work - but so beneficial.

I am so grateful to be in a relationship with a man that not only accepts my spiritual path, but supports it. And not just with words.

Twelve days (eight business days) is quite a chunk of time to be away in comunicado (there is no outside communication during a course -- you can't even talk to others on course -- no reading, writing -- just meditation). Besides managing our household solo, Brian manages incoming calls for coaching, trainings, etc., that I get while away. Plus the financial impact: as a self-employed business coach / relationship coach / life coach, being on a a Vipassana meditation course for twelve days means no income for twelve days.

And I have been doing this twice each year now: sitting a course in the Spring and serving a course in the Fall. (Each course happens only through the generosity of time by old students like myself).

That means twenty-four days each year. Almost one month.

His support consists of so much more than words.

I am so grateful.

This support is one of the keystones in our relationship. We make no effort to keep the ship tied to the dock instead we put energy into making our ship sea worthy so it can withstand high seas and and monitor the weather of our relationship to navigate around storms.

So many couples are out to change each other:
     "You need to do this."
     "You need to do that."

There is little room for the individual's personal path.

I think that comes about from fear. The fear that our spouse will meet someone else -- someone better. Or that our spouse will change and leave us behind.

These couples put all their energy into keeping the ship tied to the dock instead of putting energy into making the ship sea worthy so it can withstand high seas or monitoring the weather to navigate around storms.

Other couples pay no attention either way. They put no energy into keeping the ship tied to the dock nor put energy into making the ship sea worthy so it can withstand high seas and  monitor the weather to navigate around storms.

Three different models for support. Three different outcomes.

Which describes the type of relationship you want to be in? And, more importantly, which describes the type of relationship you are in?